(34) Chapter: Recommendations with regard to Women

Recommendations with regard to Women Allah, the Exalted, says: "... and live with them honourably". (4:19) "You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e., neither divorced nor married). And if you do justice, and do all that is right, and fear Allah by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.'' (4:129) Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "Take my advice with regard to women: Act kindly towards women, for they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of a rib is its uppermost. If you attempt to straighten it; you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain crooked; so act kindly toward women". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. In another narration of Al-Bukhari and Muslim, Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "A woman is like a rib, if you attempt to straighten it, you will break it; and if you benefit from her, you will do so while crookedness remains in her". In another narration of Muslim, Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: 'Woman has been created from a rib and will in no way be straightened for you; so if you want to benefit from her, you will benefit from her while crookedness remains in her. If you attempt to straighten her, you will break her, and breaking her is divorcing her". Commentary: The words (Istawso bi' nisa') mean, take care of your wives. Whatever is the formation of the words of the Hadith, it stresses the importance of kind treatment to wives because woman is not only weaker than man by nature, but also less intelligent. On account of his being more intelligent and having greater patience, man should be more forgiving in his dealing with her. The secret of a pleasant family life lies in this advice of the Prophet (PBUH) with its emphasis on kind treatment to wives.